Happy Thanksgiving (maybe..)

My parents live in Portland. They did not consult me before moving to Portland. If they had, I would have told them that it was a horrible idea. Admittedly, my primary reason for thinking so is simply that it takes me that much longer to get home when I want a meal that consists of something more than processed starch.

Regardless, I am absolutely thrilled to climb onto a train at the crack of dawn and sit there for six hours to get to Portland, because if there is one thing my parents do better than most, it is Thanksgiving dinner. In the spirit of my impending journey, I decided to look

into the Rose City's offering of unnatural abominations that can kill me.

And the winner is..... Chromium 6! Yes, it seems that the deadly chromium 6 is the flavor of the day, and lo and behold, Portland seems to offer an abundance of it. According to this guy, chromium 6 inexplicably spikes in concentration in the hours of 9am and 1pm. In accordance with tradition, nobody knows why.

Now, as far as profound medical effects, chromium 6 has been linked to ulcers of the septum, decreased pulmonary function, and adverse respiratory effects.

Come to think of it, that sounds quite similar to the profound medical effects of any family holiday.